A Guide to Starting Therapy
(5 minute read)
So you’re interested in starting therapy but you’re not sure what it entails? Maybe you’ve seen the iconic movie therapy scene where the client is lying on a couch and the therapist is sitting behind them, scribbling viciously away in a notebook. Maybe you’ve seen a therapist portrayed as someone who nods and lets out the occasional, “Hmmm,” as they tilt their head ever so slightly.
Spoiler alert—therapy with me is not like either of these images.
This guide goes over what it’s like to start therapy, what therapy with me is like, and how to make the most of your therapeutic process.
Starting Therapy
People come to therapy for a whole host of reasons. Sometimes people are going through a major life transition or a crisis and need a neutral third party to process the change with. Sometimes people are struggling in a relationship and want to process and sort their thoughts and feelings around it. Sometimes people are struggling with a mental health condition and are looking for support in tending to the condition. Sometimes people find that carving out 45 minutes a week to tend to their inner worlds, really helps them cope with their daily lives.
People can come to therapy for a short amount of time and sometimes people find they benefit from having therapy for a longer amount of time. Each person’s process is individualized and unique to them and their needs. The therapist may also make a recommendation around length and frequency of sessions depending on what the person is presenting with.
What Therapy With Me Is Like
Therapy is a place that centers you; you are the pilot. You get to decide what you want to work on, what you want to share, and what you want to change in your life. Sessions are a supportive 45 minutes to an hour that centers your voice, your inner world, your wonderings, your longings, what is important to you, and what you need.
I see the therapist role as the co-pilot to your pilot; I am there to ask questions, reflect, validate, respectfully challenge when appropriate, and support you in moving towards your therapeutic goals. To learn more about my specific approach, please check out My Approach page.
In the initial sessions, I’ll collect some background information about you and will leave space for you to discuss what is pushing on the forefront of your mind. We will discuss what you hope to get out of therapy, ways in which you would like to act differently, and how we can address these therapeutic goals in sessions.
When working with me, you’ll notice our sessions feel a bit more like conversations, but with me asking more questions. We might also practice certain skills together in session, like mindfulness or grounding exercises.
If we were to meet in my office, you would sit on the couch and I would sit in a chair across from you. If we were to meet virtually, you would sit in a comfortable seat in a place of privacy. If we were to meet for a walk and talk session, we would meet in nature and walk next to one another on a path. So you definitely do not have to lay on a couch, and I won’t be ominously sitting behind you.
How to Make the Most of Your Sessions
Going to psychotherapy sessions is not like seeing a primary care physician. You unfortunately cannot list the ailments, the signs and symptoms, and then be given a medication or recommendation that will take the physical ailment away—all in 15 minutes nevertheless!
It’s a bit more like going to a physical therapist; it requires an active, ongoing effort and participation on your end. Whatever is discussed in sessions, often requires a repeated need of noticing it, tending to it, and then practicing the skills to support the struggle. It requires reflection, honesty, accountability, presence, and the courage to do something different. All of these things are ongoing practices.
I’ve found that therapy sessions are most successful when:
–The client is fully present for the entirety of the session. The person removes any distractions, has privacy, and can put their complete attention to the session. This might mean silencing phones, turning phones over, leaving phones in the car or in a different room. This might mean silencing any notifications that may pop up on your computer, if we’re meeting virtually. This might mean meeting in a different space from where you work. This might mean meeting in my office to get space from family members or roommates.
–The client thinks about the conversations from therapy sessions in their everyday life. For example, during or after a session clients may jot down a couple of the main ideas we discussed and then look at the notes throughout the week.
–The client practices the skills we discussed in session in their every day lives. This is like when a physical therapist recommends a certain workout regimen to do in between PT sessions. A psychotherapist may go over certain skills or ideas to consider and then it is your responsibility to practice the skills or take action around the idea.
Going to therapy is a courageous act. I too have sat on the couch as the client and know how uncomfortable the process can be…and I know just how much relief and support it can bring as well! Therapy can help you learn and practice skills to get unhooked from painful reoccurring thoughts and feelings, respond to uncomfortable thoughts and emotions in a new way, build healthier relationships, and take steps toward living out what is most important to you.
If you think we could be a good fit or want to learn more, please reach out to me on my Connect page for a free consultation.
With care,
Chrissy
